This week, my nieces Andrea and Claire both turned sixteen! Sixteen is one of those ages that feels like such a big deal, even if it doesn’t come with any clear instructions. It’s a mix of new freedoms, new responsibilities, and honestly, a lot of unknowns.
Most of my career was spent with 15- to 18-year olds. Hundreds of them, actually. So I can confidently say that I know a thing or two about sixteen.
When Andrea’s mom asked me to put together some advice for her for her birthday, I decided it was something that might be worth sharing – because whether you’re sixteen today or you just remember what it felt like, these are the kinds of things that might matter at any age.
So here goes:
You don’t have to have it all figured out right now.
The pressure to know exactly where you’re heading isn’t necessary. Let your own curiosity guide you, and trust that clarity will come as you just take small steps.
Not everything your brain offers you is worth believing.
You’ll have thoughts about yourself, your abilities, and your future. Question the ones that make you feel small – there’s a good chance they aren’t true.
Being kind to yourself is knowing when you need grace and when you need grit.
Some days, grace means giving yourself permission to rest. Other days, grit means pushing yourself forward. The real strength comes from knowing which one you need.
Just because something is hard doesn’t mean you’re bad at it.
Setbacks test your effort, not your potential or your capacity. Let them show you where to adjust, not where to give up.
Other people’s opinions cannot be your compass.
Seek guidance, yes. But don’t let someone else’s approval become the thing you navigate by. Trust yourself more than the crowd.
When you feel overwhelmed, break it down.
If life feels too big or the problem feels impossible, zoom in. What’s one small thing you can do right now? One step forward is progress.
Your uniqueness is your superpower.
Trying to fit into what’s “normal” will drain you. Step into what makes you different, and you’ll find the places where you belong. Your people are out there.
Chasing love and success won’t bring them faster.
You’re allowed to show up as you are, keep learning, and trust that you’re already worthy of everything good along the way. Love and success will come. I promise.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
God didn’t create us to carry everything on our own. Ask for help when you need it, and trust that people – and some divine guidance – will be there exactly when you need them.
Let joy be part of the process, not just the reward.
Don’t wait until you’ve achieved something to let yourself feel happy. Pause to notice small wins, laughter, the things you’re learning – all of it. And let it all matter.
I can’t wait to hear about what advice you’d give to the sixteen year olds in your life. And if you – or they – need any help sifting through it, I’d love the chance to put my experience to work.
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