In a recent study by Patricia Chen, Carol Dweck, and others, participants were asked these 6 questions: 

• When you are stuck on something, how often do you ask yourself: “What are things I can do to help myself?”
• Whenever you feel like you are not making progress, how often do you ask yourself: “Is there a better way of doing this?” 
• Whenever you feel frustrated with something, how often do you ask yourself: “How can I do this better?” 
• In moments when you feel challenged, how often do you ask yourself: “What are things I can do to make myself better at this?”
• When you are struggling with something, how often do you ask yourself: “What can I do to help myself?” 
• Whenever something feels difficult, how often do you ask yourself: “What can I do to get better at this?” 

The researchers were trying to figure out why some people are more likely to take a strategic stance toward their goals and if this tendency (which they call a ‘strategic mindset’) can be cultivated. 

They differentiated a strategic mindset from general self-efficacy, self-control, grit, and growth mindsets (all things I’ve talked about here in these blogs) and they showed that it explained the unique discrepancy in people’s use of their awareness and understanding of their own thought processes.  

It’s interesting and useful research.  But, MY brain got caught up on those scenarios.  

Are you stuck on something?

Do you feel like you’re not making progress?

Do you feel frustrated with something?

Are you in a moment when you feel challenged?

Are you struggling with something?

Does something feel difficult?

I could answer yes to probably half of those on any given day. 

So (no disrespect to what these very smart and accomplished researchers were pursuing) and, strategic mindset aside, I decided to take a more immediate and practical plan for myself – and maybe for you – in those scenarios. 

I decided to give us better questions.

When we’re stuck on something: 

“What’s one small step I can take to move forward, even if it’s imperfect?” 

This encourages us to break down the problem into manageable actions.

Whenever we feel like we’re not making progress: 

“What’s one thing I’ve already learned or improved that I’m not noticing right now?” 

This shifts our focus to progress we’ve made, building momentum and self-awareness.

Whenever we feel frustrated with something: 

“What am I assuming about this situation that might not be true?” 

This encourages us to reflect on limiting beliefs or perspectives.

In moments when we feel challenged: 

“What skills or tools do I already have that could help me with this?” 

This reframes the situation to focus on our strengths rather than on obstacles.

When we are struggling with something: 

“Who can I ask for help or insight to get a fresh perspective?” 

This shifts our attention from self-reliance to leveraging external support.

Whenever something feels difficult: 

“What can I learn from this that will help me next time?” 

This turns difficulty into an opportunity for our growth and long-term resilience.

I used one of these questions to help me make (what to me was) a scary business decision today.  Maybe it can help you with something on your plate.  

I can’t wait to hear about it. 

And if you need help with these – or any other questions – I’d love to help you find your answers. 

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