A great big group of my greatest bestest friends are doing something Great and Big next week: they will take lots of water, layers of clothing, trekking poles, and nutritious snacks and hike the Grand Canyon – a strenuous 20 miles from Rim to Rim.  

I have 0% desire to take on this particular challenge myself and I have 100% confidence in their ability to pull it off.  

But my confidence in their ability isn’t really what matters.  It’s their own confidence in themselves that they need.  

In psychology, we call this self-efficacy.  And it’s one of (at least) three things they will need to tackle this feat. 

I love how Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D. talks about it: “The contract that humans draft with their loftiest dreams is surprisingly straightforward. Yes, we need skills to accomplish our goals. Yes, we need effort, strategy, resources, creativity, character, and even luck. But before we set the world in motion, we need the blessing of an inner ally, who, whether with a coy wink or a full-blown orchestra, makes us believe that we can.”

A contract we draft with our loftiest dreams. 

The blessing of an inner ally. 

A coy wink at ourselves or a full-blown orchestra.  

Such a great way to think about our self-efficacy.

Now, on to number 2 – those skills she mentioned.  Dr. Pogosyan goes on to say that “Self-efficacy is not wishful thinking or a fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude. Self-efficacy is best viewed in terms of having confidence in your ability to apply your skills in particular situations. It is a much more nuanced concept than a blind belief of ‘I believe I can do it, and therefore I will succeed.’ Notably, it entails having a clear understanding of your skills. Skills and beliefs about skills usually go hand-in-hand. This is why overconfidence without actual preparation (or lack of skills) can set people up for failure.”

And number 3?  Experience.  My friends have hiked and hiked and hiked in preparation for their impending climb – they have put in hours of practice and grueling physical work. Some of them have done as many as 25 hikes just to prepare for this massive endeavor.  Dr. Pogosyan says, “What helps most in gaining self-efficacy is experience—trying something new and working at it, usually by breaking down goals and skills into manageable pieces and practicing them separately, again and again [and again!] When we think of a big goal simply as a series of small goals one after the other, it can give us the courage to dive in. Over time, as people acquire a sense of mastery over various skills, they will also accumulate self-efficacy beliefs.”

Albert Bandura, arguably one of the most influential psychologists in history, talked much and often about how having high self-efficacy is a good thing. According to him and VeryWell Mind, people with a strong sense of self-efficacy:

• Develop a deeper interest in the activities in which they participate
• Form a stronger sense of commitment to their interests and activities
• Recover quickly from setbacks and disappointments
• View challenging problems as tasks to be mastered

Poor self-efficacy, on the other hand, can have a number of detrimental effects. People with a weak sense of self-efficacy:

• Avoid challenging tasks
• Believe that difficult tasks and situations are beyond their capabilities
• Focus on personal failings and negative outcomes
• Quickly lose confidence in personal abilities

I have a best friend who for years has been silently struggling with an addiction. In the last couple years, the struggle has become less silent.  He ultimately has tried therapy, treatment, mentors, and medication to help him better live the kind of life he wants to live. 

For him, medication is the tool that has had the most influence.  

And because of that, he mentioned in a recent conversation with me, he’s having a hard time not giving the medication all the credit for his current ‘success.’

I’ve given that a lot of thought. 

I didn’t have a good answer at the time.  

I do now. 

This is what I would say:

Even if part of my group of friends’ success in hiking the Grand Canyon – even a big part – is due to water, the water isn’t making the hike.  The water isn’t taking every grueling step on the toughest parts of that trail. 

The water (or medication – or any tool we use!) isn’t responsible for our experiences, our skills, or our self-efficacy.  We are.  

And the sooner we can build those powerful beliefs in ourselves – our effort, our strategizing, our use of resources, our creativity, our faith, our character, even our luck! – the sooner we are on the path to our own kind of success. 

I can’t wait to hear about how it’s going on your path.  And if you need assistance with any of it, I’m here to help. 

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