I have a client who has had a big year and has met many of her goals, professionally.  It’s been the kind of year she probably felt was just a dream when she was taking exams and getting certified in her field.

But when we met for our session this week she had started to feel some familiar self-doubt and comparison –  to her boss, to her colleagues, to people in her ‘same’ situation, and even to herself. 

While most of us know that comparison is not useful, Joshua Becker beautifully describes why comparison actually has numerous shortcomings. This is a list I use often. 

• Comparisons are always unfair. We typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others.
• Comparisons, by definition, require metrics. And most important things simply cannot be counted (or measured).
• Comparisons rob us of precious time. We each get 86,400 seconds each day. And using even one to compare yourself or your accomplishments to another is one second too many.
• You are too unique to compare fairly. Your gifts and talents and successes and contributions and value are entirely unique to you and to your purpose in this world. They can never be properly compared to anyone else.
• You have nothing to gain, but much to lose. For example: your pride, your dignity, your drive, and your passion.
• There is no end to the possible number of comparisons. The habit can never be overcome by attaining success. There will always be something—or someone—else to focus on.
• Comparison puts focus on the wrong person. You can control one life—yours. But when we constantly compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own.
• Comparisons often result in resentment. Resentment towards others and towards ourselves.
• Comparisons deprive us of joy. They add no value, meaning, or fulfillment to our lives. They only distract from it.

Rather than digging into why and how that sneaky snake of comparison was showing up for her, my client and I decided to look at some useful ways for her to start speaking to herself when it does. 

With her permission, I am sharing her list with you – hopefully it will help you with those ‘snakes’ of your own. 

• I have a network of people I can access for support and opportunity
• I can focus on what’s ahead for me – there is always a light at the end of the tunnel
• I am good at directing my attention when I need to
• I believe that I can get whatever I really, really want
• I will be in the right place at exactly the right time for me
• I am constantly working on a better version of me
• I will consistently show up in my own life
• I am intentionally choosing the way I want to think, feel, and act
• I am open to the possibilities the Universe is always providing me
• Just by being in it, I am making the world a better place

I can’t wait to hear about how you’re dealing with your own sneaky snake of comparison.  And if you need any help taming it, I’ve got you.  Just say the word and you and I will come up with your very own list.