Investor Rick Buhrman was once asked “What is the kindest thing that anyone’s ever done for you?”
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This was his response:

 “… our oldest son, Theo, spent the first six months of his life in several NICUs. He was eventually helicoptered to Indianapolis at Riley Hospital for Children. And while we were living in that NICU for almost a half a year we saw a lot of kids who passed away. Most of those kids were not as sick as Theo was.

I don’t know exactly why Theo survived, but I know that a major part of how he survived was because for several decades leading up to that moment, numerous nurses, nurse practitioners, respiratory therapists, doctors, surgeons had committed themselves wholeheartedly to mastering their craft. I can give you tons and tons of examples of these people. And I know that in the moment, it wasn’t necessarily viewed as kindness.

But maybe in some sense, the kindest thing that all of us can do is to pursue something radically that in some way is in service to others, because you just don’t know how it’s going to change the trajectory of human life. And so for all of those medical practitioners, none of whom I’m sure are listening to this, I owe everything to, because they gave me the gift of being Theo’s dad.”

Maybe in some sense, the kindest thing that all of us can do is to pursue something radically that in some way is in service to others.

I just love that.  

This is how the Oxford English Dictionary defines ‘radically’: in a way that relates to the most basic and important parts of something; in a complete and detailed way; in a way that is new, different, and likely to have a great effect.

So, how do we pursue something radically that in some way is in service to others?  Great question.

Here are 4 ideas to get us started.

1. Radically pay attention to what won’t let us go.

How do we figure out what to pursue? We start with what keeps tugging at us. What we return to, even when it doesn’t feel efficient. What we catch ourselves caring about. What drains us less than everything else. We stay close enough to keep listening. We radically pay attention to what is calling us. 

2. Radically keep showing up.

There’s something very steadying about doing the work to get better at something. We keep showing up again and again and again and, little by little, we build credibility in the craft and credibility with ourselves. That credibility is what helps us trust ourselves to stay with it when the showing up gets hard. Pursuing something radically might look like showing up with radical consistency — even when no one else is watching.

3. Radically take care of our corner.

We don’t have to take on the whole system (thank goodness!) or solve everything. Almost any space can become a place of service. A classroom, a home, a customer service call, a spreadsheet — they all can be a way to serve others. Owning our corner with steadiness and intention can radically shift the entire atmosphere around us.

4. Radically believe that it matters.

This is the hard one. Because sometimes pursuing something in service to others means letting go of needing to know what it changed or how it helped. We still get to decide: Am I doing this because it aligns with who I want to be? Would I still choose it, even if no one noticed? That’s what makes it radical. 

We do the work, we plant the seeds, and then we have to trust that the kindness will outlive us.

I can’t wait to hear about the ways you are pursuing something radically in the service of others. And if you’re not quite sure what that looks like yet, I’d love to help you figure it out.

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PS I first heard about Rick Burhman’s quote from James Clear. I’m grateful. 

PPS I have a sister who’s been a NICU nurse for nearly three decades. She’s one of many in my life who show up in the ways this post is about — every day. I’m proud I get to see radical kindness up close.

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PPPS If you liked this post – or any others, I’d love you to pass me and my work on to a friend.  They can find out much more about me here if they’re interested!