When I worked as a high school teacher and then a counselor, I sometimes helped student athletes fill out their NCAA eligibility profiles. One section always stood out to me: Have you ever been paid in any way to play your sport?

Typical NCAA amateurism questions included things like:

• Have you ever received money or other benefits for participating in athletics?
• Have you used your athletic skill for pay in any form (for example: endorsements, demonstrations, or appearances)?
• Have you played on a team where any of the players were paid to compete?
• Have you accepted prize money that exceeded your actual and necessary expenses for participating in an event?
• Have you signed a contract with or been represented by a sports agent?
• Have you accepted any gifts, benefits, or expenses from a sports agent or a professional sports organization?

They were not kidding around. 

The answer had to be the same every time.

No.

Not once.
Not indirectly.
Not through someone else.
Not ever.

The NCAA took amateurism seriously enough that the question showed up multiple times in slightly different forms, just to be sure the answer hadn’t changed.

Fast forward to 2021, and the landscape of college sports suddenly became very, very different.

College athletes can now be paid.

These athletes can legally make money in several different ways:

1. NIL (Name, Image, Likeness) deals — athletes can sign endorsement agreements with businesses and brands. That might include appearing in advertisements, promoting products on social media, signing autographs at events, or licensing their name and image.
2. Revenue sharing from schools and universities — many schools are beginning to share a portion of athletic department revenue directly with athletes. In some programs this can look like stipends or structured payments tied to the sport’s overall revenue.
3. Collectives — independent groups organized by alumni, fans, or boosters that raise money and create paid opportunities for athletes. These might involve promotional appearances, community events, sponsorships, or charitable campaigns connected to local businesses.

This combination of compensation can reach into the hundreds of thousands of dollars!

That’s a remarkable shift for a system that once required teenagers to certify — multiple times — that they had never, ever, ever been paid in any way to play their sport.

I’m not going to get into the hows and whys and what the hecks of this situation. Although it is interesting.

But I am going to ask this: what about all the Juniors and Rickys and Jaces I know who played in college athletics before this change? The ones who lived in the constraints of those old rules and didn’t get paid?

In some ways, it for sure feels unfair.

And yet, moments like this show up everywhere.

The job we would be perfect for opens up right after we commit to a job somewhere else.

The house we fall in love with sells to a higher offer.

The opportunity we always wanted shows up just after the perfect window has already passed.

I would venture to guess that most of us have at least one moment in our lives where the timing simply didn’t line up.

Realizing it’s not rare can soften the sense of isolation or personalization around it. It really does happen a lot. 

But here are some other things to try:

1. Separate effort from timing.

Your effort may have been real. Your discipline may have been real. Your preparation may have been real.

The outcome may still have been shaped by timing.

Both things can exist at the same time.

2. Let the frustration exist without letting it define the story.

Feeling that something was unfair is a normal human reaction.

Acknowledging that feeling tends to help it move through rather than getting stuck.

What tends to create suffering is when the mind keeps replaying the moment and building a larger identity around it.

3. Notice the mental loop.

When people feel like they missed something, the mind often returns to the same thought:

“If only … “

That loop can quietly drain a lot of energy. Recognizing the pattern can help loosen its grip.

4. Redirect attention toward the present window.

Life rarely offers us only one opportunity window.

Often the next step forward begins when attention shifts away from the moment that closed and toward the possibilities that still exist.

5. Expand the timeline.

What feels like a defining moment in one chapter of life often becomes an integral part of the overall story with time.

Many people later discover that the opportunities they missed were ones that shaped their lives for the better.

I can’t wait to hear about a moment in your life when the timing didn’t line up the way you expected. And if you’d like some assistance seeing that chapter a little differently, I’d love to help.

PS Because of something going on in my own life, this one felt especially applicable today. Thanks for letting me process it through in this space. 

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PPS If you liked this post – or any others, I’d love you to pass me and my work on to a friend.  They can find out much more about me here if they’re interested!