I will never forget the first day I met my sweet friend Allyson. I was a new (to her) teacher in a new (to me) school at the start of a brand-new school year. After one particularly rough day that first week or so, I went up to the vending machine after using the restroom during my conference period. Probably to get something chocolate. Or to get a Diet Coke. And Allyson happened to walk by. I still remember what she was wearing — a pink suit. A full blazer and a short skirt. She looked very, very professional. I also remember what I was wearing. (Something not nearly as professional.)

She took the time to stop and ask how I was doing, and we started a sincere conversation. She was the first person at that school to really ask me anything of substance. We developed a friendship that has stayed strong for the 25 years since. As a matter of fact, I’m seeing her tomorrow.

After that first pink suit moment, Allyson kept showing up. In big ways and small ones.

The best way I can describe Allyson is to tell you that I have never been anywhere — ANYWHERE — with her where we have not run into someone she knows or has a connection with.

And one of Allyson’s special gifts is getting people to use theirs. Years after the pink suit encounter, I was lucky enough to have her as my counseling team lead. She would (famously) delegate things by saying to someone, “You’re really good at that. Why don’t you do it?” And she was right, so they couldn’t really argue.

Decades into her career, when she was putting together a new counseling team at a brand-new high school, she intuitively gathered an Enneagram 3, 6, 7, 2, 9, and 1 — without knowing anything about the Enneagram — because she could see what talents were needed to make her version of a truly effective team and what personalities would get things off the ground.

Allyson gives people permission to lead with their gifts. She encourages others to make things their own. She makes decisions. She comes up with ideas. She helps people feel included.

Simon Sinek says, “Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.”

You’ve probably seen these Allyson-type leaders in stories:

• The Guide – Encourages others and supports the team. Think Moana, Dumbledore, or Yoda.
• The Innovator – Comes up with creative solutions. Think Tony Stark, Willy Wonka, Rapunzel.
• The Decision-Maker – Takes charge when things get hard. Think Katniss, Black Panther, Hermione.
• The Connector – Keeps people together. Think Olaf, Ted Lasso, Mirabel.

Encouragement.
Creativity.
A decision.
Connection.

Encouragement can look like naming someone’s strength before they’ve fully stepped into it — handing them the mic because we already trust what they’ll bring.

Creativity often shows up when the usual options feel dull or stuck — when we’re willing to try something slightly unpolished or unexpected and see where it leads.

Making a decision is sometimes less about certainty and more about giving others a sturdy place to begin.

And connection can be the invisible skill of sensing who hasn’t spoken yet. Who feels out of place. Who might need a way in.

Maybe your way of leading isn’t very loud.
Maybe it doesn’t wear a pink suit.
But I hope you know by now — it still counts.

I can’t wait to hear about the ways you’re leading — even if you don’t always call it that.
And if you’re in a season where your gifts feel tucked away or unseen, I’d love to help you find your way back to them.

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