Dictionary.com defines the word BOLD this way: 

• Not hesitating in the face of possible rebuff.
• Not hesitating to break the rules of propriety.
• Necessitating courage.
• Challenging.
• Beyond the usual limit of conventional action.
• Conspicuous to the eye.
• Trusting.
• Assured.

My Aunt Judi embodied the word bold. She was the kind of person you noticed right away. She had a personality that filled the room, a big, colorful energy that was impossible to ignore.

In a world where people often hold back or second-guess themselves, she stood out because she did the opposite – she put herself out there, unapologetically.  Aunt Judi wasn’t afraid to ask for what she needed and to make sure her voice was heard. 

This kind of boldness is often misunderstood, but at its core, boldness is about having the courage to be yourself, no matter the circumstances. My aunt Judi embodied that courage in a way that was both influential and instructive.  

Dr. Joe Burgo says that boldness can come from “an inner sense of confidence, even when it’s not always justified.” It’s not about being fearless, but about pushing forward despite fear, and being willing to be seen and heard.

Judi’s boldness wasn’t about being reckless; it was about showing up fully in every moment. She lived by the principle that if you don’t ask, you don’t get. It’s a quality many of us shy away from, but it’s also one that can lead to a richer, more authentic life.

Dr. Burgo goes on to explain that boldness often means acting in ways that others might view as too much or over the top. It’s the willingness to maybe be “too loud,” or “too assertive,” or “too much” – and doing it because that’s who you are. Aunt Judi knew this well. She embraced her ‘too much-ness,’ never toning down her personality to fit into someone else’s box. 

Her boldness was her way of claiming space in the world.

Living boldly, like Judi, means trusting yourself, even when others might not get it. It’s knowing that your value doesn’t come from being quiet or small, but from being unapologetically you.

Susan Krauss Whitbourne says, “Boldness means taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone to assert yourself.” 

How can we all learn from my Aunt Judi and be more unapologetically ourselves?  

1. Know how you feel inside about the world and the people in it.  

Judi believed people were good and helpful and kind.  She asked for their service and was not surprised at their willingness to help.  She forged strong and deep connections with those who served her.  She loved them.  She appreciated them.  

2. Have a clear understanding of your own needs, desires, and boundaries – and honor them.

Judi understood exactly what she needed – physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually – and she never hesitated to ask for support in any of these areas when it mattered. Her ability to figure out how to provide for her well-being was a true reflection of her independence. 

3. Behave in ways that are congruent with your beliefs.  

Aunt Judi believed in loving and connecting.  Everything she did was tied to one of these two things.  Everything.  She was never shy about expressing her love for others.  She had a way of allowing you to feel important, and her affection was a defining part of who she was.  You never left her presence without knowing you were loved because she daily lived her belief in love and connection – with everyone. 

Know how you feel inside about the world and the people in it.

Have a clear understanding of your own needs, desires, and boundaries – and honor them.

Behave in ways that are congruent with your beliefs. 

Aunt Judi passed away last week.  She was the last member of my dad’s immediate family to die. She was never married and didn’t have kids of her own and she lived a big and fierce and family-filled, friend-filled, dog-filled life.  She would love being the subject of this post. 

Hopefully reading about how Judi lived so boldly gives you just a little permission to step into your own life – to be a little more daring, a little more unapologetic, a little more willing to take up space. 

I can’t wait to hear about how!  

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