In 1929, at the age of 13, Roald Dahl attended Repton School, a prestigious boys’ boarding school in Derbyshire, England.  

It was during his time at Repton that the Cadbury company sent sample chocolate bars to the school for the boys to taste and evaluate. 

“It was a tradition that Cadbury’s, the great chocolate manufacturers, used to send us new chocolates in plain, white, cardboard boxes… two bars in a box… we would be asked to grade them and give our opinions on a special form that was included,” he has written.

This testing was part of Cadbury’s real-world product research at the time, and Dahl’s experience with it made a big impression on him. Roald LOVED chocolate and loved being part of something special and kind of secret. He even started dreaming about inventing a chocolate bar of his own that might win the approval of Mr. Cadbury himself.

But as much as he loved his role as a chocolate taster, he hated almost everything else about his role as a boarding school student: The beatings. The formality. The teachers who never listened. The total lack of power. The stifled creativity. He recalled what it felt like to want, more than anything, just to go home and described the unfairness of school life with a simmering tone of injustice.

Anger doesn’t always look like shouting or fists or red-hot rage.
It doesn’t always need to be loud.
Sometimes it comes out sideways. Sometimes it doesn’t come out at all.
And sometimes it’s doing a job you didn’t realize it had.

Dora, on the Headspace app, says this: 

“Anger holds information about us in relation to others. It can teach us about our needs, what we value, and the importance of boundaries. When we talk about transforming our anger with kindness, we aren’t invalidating our anger or adding love on top of it to avoid or ignore how we’re truly feeling–we are just trying to hold anger in a way that won’t burn us.”

Here are a few ways it might show up:

• Anger as Confrontation
  This kind of anger comes out as bluntness, interruption, a need to challenge or push back. Our bodies are  saying, “This doesn’t sit right.”
  
• Anger as Control
  This kind of anger kicks in when things feel chaotic or unpredictable. It might show up when we are needing to feel secure or safe.
  
• Anger as Intensity
  In this kind of anger we display big reactions, strong feelings, and nothing halfway. Underneath it might be about things that matter deeply.
  
• Anger as Protection
  This kind of anger shows up when something we care about feels threatened.
  Our time or our values or our families or our peace.
  
• Anger as Certainty
  This kind of anger steps in when there’s ambiguity, vulnerability, or doubt.
  It says we’d rather be sure and sharp than wobbly and open.
  
• Anger as Fuel
  This kind of anger pushes us through resistance. It keeps us moving when we’re done being patient – with ourselves, with others, with a situation.
  
• Anger as Pressure
  This kind of anger builds when we’re carrying too much and no one seems to notice.
  Especially if we think we’re not allowed to drop the ball.
  
• Anger as Frustration
  And this kind of anger comes up when something’s blocking us — a slow system, an unfair rule, something that won’t work, or a person who won’t follow through.
  

Most of us have a default “flavor” of anger.

Some of us (I’m looking at you Enneagram 8s!) switch between all eight.

Sometimes we don’t even recognize it as anger — just stress, exhaustion, sharpness.

But once we name it, we get a little more say in what we do with it.

Decades after his boarding school experience, Roald Dahl wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory — a story where kind children win, and adults get what’s coming. He turned his feelings about cruel grown-ups into smug, selfish, and mean-spirited characters. And his values of curiosity, imagination, and kindness into true heroes. 

You could call it imagination. 

You could call it genius.

You could also call it anger.

I can’t wait to hear about what your anger is telling you – and what you’re deciding to do with it.

And if you need some help sorting it out, I’m here. Let’s talk. I’ll bring the chocolate.

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PS If you liked this post – or any others, I’d love you to pass me and my work on to a friend.  They can find out much more about me here if they’re interested!