I love Diet Coke.  There, I said it.

I know it’s not a particularly healthy thing to ‘love’ in this “we-know-better-so-we-should-do-better” day and age.  I get it.  And, in my defense, I drink A LOT of water, as well.  I promise. 

I know a lot of you can relate.  Caffeine, in some form or another, has a place in your day. 

In their new book, Build the Life You Want, Oprah Winfrey and Arthur C. Brooks talk about the concept of “emotional caffeine.” 

Caffeine, they expain, works because it fits into the same receptors as the molecules that are supposed to make us feel tired.  When caffeine is in our system, the ‘tired’ molecule (adenosine) can’t ‘plug in’ because caffeine is sitting there in its place.

“Most people,” they say “use caffeine because they aren’t content with the way they feel naturally, and want better outcomes in mood and work. Caffeine does so through substitution of one molecule for another.”

“Caffeine is a good metaphor for the … principle of emotional self-management: You often don’t have to accept the emotion you feel first. Rather, you can substitute a better one that you [do] want.”

They – and I – are not promoting getting rid of negative emotions.  We need emotions like anger, sadness, fear, disappointment, etc. to have a full and rich life – just like we need adenosine so we can fall asleep at night and relax during the day. 

“But sometimes you want to substitute caffeine for some of your adenosine, and sometimes you want to replace some of your negative emotions in the same way – by temporarily occupying your emotional receptors with something that also fits and is more constructive, leading you to act the way you want, not the way you feel.”

This begins, for me, with changing the thought that is driving the emotion. And because it’s hard sometimes to jump from believing a negative thought to believing a positive one, I suggest baby steps. 

“I can’t believe he said that to me!” could fuel some anger.

“I bet he has his reasons for saying that to me…” could fuel some acceptance or curiosity instead.

“This always happens!  Things never work out how they’re supposed to…” could fuel some disappointment or resentment. 

“Things are working in my favor, even if it’s hard sometimes to see it…” could fuel some hope or calm instead. 

“I have too much to do, this seems so impossible!” could fuel some discouragement or overwhelm. 

“I will focus on the very next thing, and then the next thing after that…” could fuel some direction and commitment instead. 

I can’t wait to hear about the ways you are using some emotional caffeine in your life – and choosing more constructive feelings, instead. And if you need help with it, I’m here. 

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