I don’t know if you’ve ever done this, but the other day I was driving to see my sweet mom, who lives a few towns away from me.

I was listening to an album I know well. Traffic wasn’t horrible. The weather was good. And when I got to her house, I realized I didn’t remember much about driving there.

I noticed the not noticing — because back when I commuted to and from school every day, forgetting the drive was a sign something was off.

It meant I needed to be more intentional. I needed to notice the color of the trees or the shape of the clouds or the smell of the air. 

I needed to (literally) be more awake.

Gustavo Razzetti says that we sometimes go about life like this — on autopilot.

How do we know?

He offers five signs that might sound a little too familiar:

• Our routine is pretty predictable. 

Our calendar is full of repetitive activities, and we follow our days without really thinking. We eat the same things, work the same routines, watch the same shows, dress the same ways. There’s not a lot of room for improvisation or last-minute changes.

• We are (sometimes mindlessly) concerned about pleasing others. 

We let other people’s expectations define the majority of our choices. We aren’t usually paying attention to what we really need or want — or even what we’re working toward.

• We are always on. 

We don’t often pause to reflect on how we’re feeling or what we’re doing. We’re busy, distracted, or both.

• We feel time flies. 

We can’t remember what we did throughout the day. We feel a little guilty, like we haven’t accomplished much.

• We believe we’re missing out. 

We know we could have more joy, but we keep wandering through our days doing what we’ve always done.

So how do we take a little more control? How do we shape our autopilot tendencies into something more useful (and beautiful) for ourselves?

Cate Scolnik offers several ways to start. I’ve adapted some of them here for us.

1. Focus on connection.
   People are what make life good. So let’s spend time with our favorite people — because time is limited, and there’s not much that matters more. (Amen.)

2. Live by our values.
   Sometimes something just feels off, and we can’t quite name why. But if we take a minute to write out our core values — and then the values of the person or situation that’s throwing us — the mismatch usually shows up. That off feeling is a signal that something needs to shift. When we live by our values, things start to line up. And from there, everything gets a little easier.

3. Let fear be our motivator.
   (I know! I can’t believe I agree with that, either.)
   But if what we really want in our lives is difficult and scary, there’s an actual cost of not being courageous. We might want to try letting the fear of not trying, the fear of regret, and the fear of wasting part of our precious life be our motivator.

4. Don’t believe in signs.
   If we go to the store for chicken and they’re out, we don’t take it as a sign to give up dinner. We just make something else. Same with goals — a setback doesn’t mean we’re on the wrong path. We adjust and keep going. Edison didn’t stop at failure #17 or #412 or even #999. He called the light bulb an invention that took 1,000 steps. We can keep going too.

5. Keep visiting the Dream Room.
   Walt Disney had three rooms for building ideas: the Dream Room (where anything was possible), the Realist Room (where they made a plan), and the Critic Room (where they worked out the kinks). Too often, we skip straight to criticism before we’ve even let ourselves dream. No wonder we stay stuck on autopilot.

But, as you can see, we don’t have to.

I can’t wait to hear about how you’re waking up to your life!  And if you need a little help with turning off the cruise control, I am your gal. 

PS I really do hate cruise control.

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PPS If you liked this post – or any others, I’d love you to pass me and my work on to a friend.  They can find out much more about me here if they’re interested!