One of the things that the people in my life – and probably the 12 of you reading this – used to tease me about is my purse.  

My particular brand of OCD + my Enneagram 6 phobic personality =  an INORDINATE amount of time spent thinking about my purse. 

Condition #1 – It has to hold everything I (and the people with me!) may need on the way to, during, and after any event I’m attending.

Condition #2 – It has to be in my eyesight or within my reach during said event at all times.  Yes, all times.  Yes, really.  

Welcome to my brain. 

This made for some interesting mental gymnastics on my part.  And some extreme patience on the part of people who hang out with me. 

Sally: “Will you watch my purse while I go to the restroom?”

Person with me: “Yes.”

Sally: “Do you know what that means?”

Person with me: “….Yes?”

Person with me: “Do you want to go sit in the luxury seats at the movie?”

Sally: “………………. I guess so?”

Person with me: “You don’t?”

Sally: “I do, I just have to figure out what to do with my purse.”

Person with me: “I’m so excited to go on this roller coaster!!!”

Sally: “………..yah……….yippee!”

Sally (in my head): “What will I do with a big purse while I’m on a ride?”

You get the (very extreme) picture. 

It took me way too long to figure out that meeting both of those conditions was taking a toll on my sanity, my relationships, my quality of life.  

Both of my conditions boiled down to fear:  

Fear behind Condition #1 – What if I don’t have what I need?

Fear behind Condition #2 – What if someone steals my purse? 

Robert Puff, Ph. D.,says, “Our fears can be very scary. Mostly, they never come true, but having them can keep us from living. If we tell ourselves that something can’t be allowed to happen, then we are gripped and paralyzed by fear.

But if we say, ‘I would prefer that this outcome not happen, but I can live with it if it does, and I will get by,’ then that fear has lost its grip and its power over us.

What will happen is that fear will have nothing to hang on to, and it won’t have any way to feed, and the fear will lose its power and will have to go away. This doesn’t mean that we don’t prepare; it means that we prepare wisely and without the fog of fear standing in the way of our reason.”

The key for me – and maybe for you – was to take a really good look at the conditions (thoughts) driving my fear and fueling my actions. 

I consciously decided that Condition #1 was the easier thought for me to let go of.  I assured myself by saying, “I would prefer that I am always prepared with everything I could possibly need, but I can live with it if I’m not, and I will get by.”

That thought loosened things up and the fear has gradually lost its grip and its power over me. 

I found a crossbody bag that I love – it is big enough to hold my full size wallet and some essentials, but small enough to be on my person at all times.   Problem solved – for now. 

I can’t wait to hear about how you are questioning the (big AND little) things that are holding you back from the life you want to lead, and how you are not letting the fog of fear stand in the way of reason.

(And if you need the link for a really great bag, I’m your gal!)