My Mom – and Dad, if he were here – would tell you that out of all their children, I was the one most tightly ‘holding on to my Mom’s apron strings’ when I was little. To say I didn’t like to be away from them is a bit of an understatement.
In those pre-cell phone days, I didn’t like sleeping over at my friend’s houses – or even aunt’s and uncle’s houses. I didn’t like it when Mom and Dad went out of town. I didn’t like being in situations where I didn’t have access to them.
So, in my junior year of high school, my Mom put her foot down.
One of my teachers had encouraged me to apply for something called “Girls State” – a program each state in the U.S. still sponsors.
According to the American Legion website, “Female high school students who have completed their junior year are competitively selected and sponsored by American Legion Auxiliary units for this program, where they learn about the political process by electing officials for all levels of state government and actively running a mock government.
…Though the week is filled with many learning opportunities, there is always time for fun and the formation of long-term friendships.
Candidates should be keenly interested in government and current events, and show strong leadership abilities.”
Are you saying, “Gosh, Sally, I didn’t know you were keenly interested in government and current events?” Haha. Me, either.
Nevertheless, I was persuaded to apply and I was selected to go and represent my school. I was to spend a week in Southern Utah with a hundred girls I had never met.
And I didn’t want to go. DID. NOT. WANT. TO. GO.
My Mom – the sweetest and kindest and least confrontational woman I have ever met, truly – did not care that I did not want to go. “You are going. Period.,” she said.
It is the only time I ever remember my Enneagram 9 Mother “making” me do something. Like, ever.
I was to be on a bus at the state capital early on a Monday morning that June ready to go and learn and participate. And, as if to add insult to injury, Mom was going to be out of town with Dad that day.
I still remember my sister Sharon driving me there and me crying all the way.
Did I mention that I didn’t want to go?
Mom and I have talked about Girls State many times since then and she says she knew I needed to go. It was her way of cutting those apron strings I desperately wanted to hold on to.
She knew it would be a hard thing for me.
She also knew it would pay off.
Smart momma.
Nicole Linke says, “By repeatedly challenging yourself, you are strengthening your self-belief and self-confidence. You realize that you can deal with setbacks and failures. And with each obstacle you encounter, you are leveling up your problem-solving skills and creativity.
You start to see failure as a learning experience instead of something to be avoided. You take risks and embrace the struggle because you know it will make you stronger.
When you decide to do hard things, you learn how to regulate your feelings. You routinely do the necessary work to achieve your goals, despite self-doubt, fears, lack of motivation, fatigue, or mental and physical discomfort.
The good thing is that you have boundless possibilities to grow.
With each challenge you embrace, you level up your skills and become more capable of handling whatever life throws at you.
The more you do hard things, the easier life becomes.”
That week in southern Utah I was assigned to a bubbly and brave roommate named Tori – we were from different schools in different cities and about as different as 2 high school girls could be. And I immediately loved her.
At the end of that week, Tori asked me if I wanted to be her roommate at one of the universities I was applying to. Up until that point, the thought of living away from home terrified me a bit, but Tori made it sound fun and easy.
I surprised myself by saying ‘Yes!’.
Girls State gave me the chance to strengthen my self-belief and my self-confidence. It was something none of my siblings and none of my friends had done. It was so hard for me. And I had survived.
That week changed everything about how I thought about myself.
It started a snowball of me trying some other hard things – going on a senior trip, going away to college, moving alone to work across the country, doing missionary service in another state, buying my own place, and happily living alone – for the next several years! (Which astonished and delighted my cute Mom.)
I can’t wait to hear about the ways you’re challenging yourself – even if it’s because your mom’s making you. 😉 And if you need help with it, I’d love to coach you along the way.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
PS If you liked this post – or any others, I’d love you to pass it on to a friend.
PPS If this blog post was sent to you by a friend, I would love to send them to you every week. You can subscribe here if you’re interested!
PPPS Happy Mother’s Day Mom!
