Fall is ending here in the West and leaves have dropped quickly, being replaced by the bare branches of winter.
After all these years I’m still so amazed that in a few long months those trees will push new green growth out to the end of their branches – much to the relief of all of us who will be more than ready for the warmth they signal.
What isn’t so evident to those of us watching is the changes those trees begin making at a cellular level to become more ready for the colder temperatures to come.
I have been noticing lately how many clients come to me with a question – in their heart, on their mind, or in their gut – about what they could be doing with their time, resources, or energy.
Do they go to school (or go back to school)?
Do they end this relationship (or start a new one!)?
Do they pursue this dream (or quietly let it go)?
What we try to figure out together is their reasons for wanting to go to school or start the relationship or pursue the dream.
A few months ago I heard Lindsay Lyman talk about something that makes so much sense to me.
Using those trees I just mentioned as a reference, let’s imagine we can either stretch and grow all the way out to the end of our branches or we can get grounded way down in our roots, internally getting deeper into who we are at our core.
Ms. Lyman suggested that “growing” is getting better at something, learning something new, changing a habit, gaining a new skill, It is taking who we are and growing at those limbs and creating that bigger, fuller experience of us.
It is making new outward growth on our tree, if you will.
“Grounding”, on the other hand, is being more grounded in who you already are. It is changing at that cellular level and deepening and strengthening those roots and those beliefs of who you are at your core and what you already can believe is good.
It is becoming deeply – and more – ourselves.
So, when faced with questions like my clients bring me, you could ask yourself:
“Do I want to grow outwardly here?” or
“Do I need to ground myself here?”
How will you know the difference?
Like this.
Go ahead and challenge yourself in the growth area when it’s something you just want, you think it would be fun, you like a good challenge, you want to see if you can do it.
But NOT if you think it will make you feel ‘better’ than you do right now.
Question yourself in that growth area if you need ‘it’ to feel good.
Are you taking the class or starting the relationship or pursuing the business so you can give yourself permission to feel like you’re smart? valued? justified? ….worthy?
That’s a sign that you probably need grounding rather than growth.
Ask yourself “Where in my root beliefs of myself does this sit and what beliefs and thoughts do I need to shed and let go of (or deepen, or develop) to just love me now without apology?” Make those grounding changes in your roots, deep down, at the cellular level first.
Then, when the excitement and challenge of growth comes, you get to be an even fuller and healthier tree.
I can’t wait to hear about the ways you are choosing to be grounded and to grow.
And if you need help getting grounded this winter so you can be ready for your version of growth in the spring, I’m here to help.
