I’ve had a lot of conversations lately about work/life balance.  People trying to find it, replicate it, master it, sacrifice for it, beat it into submission. 

One dictionary defines balance as: “A condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.”

It’s the ‘correct proportions’ part that can trip us up. 

Mary Jelkovsky says, “When people talk about ‘finding balance’ in the way they eat, work, or live in general, they seem to imply that there’s some sort of perfect equilibrium, and once we find it, we’ll stay there. 

Rather than search for balance, I prefer to embrace harmony – recognizing that life flows in cycles, with different seasons of our lives demanding different levels of time, energy, and attention.”  

Harmony can be defined as “A pleasing arrangement of parts.”

She goes one, “Instead of forcing a perfect balance, we can surrender to an imperfect-yet-beautiful harmony which calls for less forceful sacrifice and more peaceful acceptance.”

Doesn’t that sound great?  Less forceful sacrifice and more peaceful acceptance?

But how?  How do we find that kind of harmony? How do we find our pleasing arrangement of parts?

What if we take a cue from music – the thing most of us think of when someone says ‘harmony.’

The Canadian music company, Pianote, gives five steps that I’d like to adapt for us.  

Step one: Figure out what key you’re in.

In music, that means finding out if the melody you’re using has any sharps or flats.  
For us it could mean figuring out what is and what isn’t working – what isn’t in harmony right now? What’s out of sync in our time, energy, or attention? What’s getting ‘too much’? What’s getting ‘too little’?

Step two: Assemble your primary chords.

In music, primary chords are typically built on the first, fourth, and fifth notes. 

For us it could mean narrowing down our focus to only 3 areas of our lives to start with – if we can get those ‘notes’ harmonized, the rest will become much more natural. What are the three notes in your primary chord?

Here is a (short!) list to start your thinking – remember, start with only three!

• Work
• School
• Home
• Immediate Family
• Extended Family
• Church
• Community work
• Friends
• Money
• Personal Habits

Step three: Match chords with target notes.

Target notes often come on the downbeat and often hold extra ‘weight’ in the melody.  They are the notes the melody builds towards. 

We have ‘target notes’, too – things that at different seasons in our life hold extra weight.  

Of your three areas, which one – today – holds the most weight? Can you harmonize your time, energy and attention more naturally to match?

Step four: Add some color.

In music, if we only use major chords, our music always sounds sweet and happy – which is great, but, truthfully, kind of boring. 

For us, things are not always sweet and happy – so what if we harmonize the more challenging parts or our lives by rethinking them? What if we consider that they are adding color to our harmony? 

Step five: Reharm. (extra credit!)

Sometimes in music it is fun to take existing chords and replace them with different chords in the same key or even harmonize them with notes outside the key. 

And as we’re creating harmony in our lives, we, too, will sometimes have to bring areas we weren’t expecting into harmony.  

As Mary says, “It’s not about keeping everything regulated and controlled. It’s about accepting all aspects of our lives as they are, in a natural, beautiful harmony.”

I can’t want to hear about how you’re welcoming, embracing, and creating more harmony for you!  And if you need any help, I’d love to work on it with you. Let’s figure out your unique chords. 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

PS If you liked this post – or any others, I’d love you to pass it on to a friend.  They can subscribe here if they’re interested!