I always tell people “We grew up riding motorcycles” – which is true.  Kind of.  We had several motorcycles, and most of us rode them.  It’s just that some of us rode them better than others. 

My dad built a second garage behind our house so we had an upper driveway and a lower one, connected by the front sidewalk on one side and a dirt ‘trail’ through the garden on the other side – effectively making our very own circular ‘track’ on our 1 ⁄ 3 acre suburban lot. 

Being on the older end of the family, I clearly remember the day we graduated from small Honda motorbikes to an “ATC” (all-terrain cycle) – a big, red, fat-tired, three wheeler. 

My teenage-self assured my scared-self that this would be an easier vehicle to manage and maneuver than the bigger two wheeled motorbikes my brothers were now riding.  Jack, my just younger but OODLES braver brother, showed me how to work it and I felt sure I would love it.  I told myself I would just ‘try’ it on the lower driveway – it was long and flat and straight. 

So, with everyone watching from the lawn on the one side of the driveway and waiting for their turn, I pushed the ignition button, and took off – right into the pricker bushes on the other side of the driveway.  I am sure I heard Marty, the next younger but OODLES braver other brother, yelling “SHE CAN’T EVEN DRIVE STRAIGHT!” as he fell over laughing on the lawn.  

Now listen, I could argue (and win) that the dumb ATC was impossible to handle – especially when brand new – and, in fact, later was banned from production for being so deadly (google it!) but that’s not the point of my story.   

The point of my story is that the experience that first day with crashing on the ATC on the driveway solidified to the fear-filled part of that teenage Sally that she wasn’t good at riding motorcycles – and that scary things could happen on them.  And after that, I tried it less often, enjoyed it less frequently, and gathered more evidence for those statements in my head.  

Dan Matthews and others call this a ‘limiting’ belief.  He says “a limiting belief is a state of mind, conviction, or belief that you think to be true that limits you in some way.  This limiting belief could be about you, your interactions with other people, or with the world and how it works…. Limiting beliefs can have a number of negative effects on you. They can keep you from making good choices, taking new opportunities, or reaching your potential. Ultimately, limiting beliefs can keep you stuck in a negative state of mind and hinder you from living the life you truly desire.”

I know I’m not alone.  We all have them.  The ones I hear most frequently?  “I can’t do math”, “I’m not as talented as everyone else”, “I’m just too anxious to do that”, “I’ve never been organized”, “She’s just smarter than me”, “There’s no way I could do that”, etc etc etc. 

Mr. Matthews goes on to say that the good news is that we have the power to change them any time. This doesn’t mean that doing so will be an easy process, but commitment and a greater level of self-awareness can make it possible.

About 20 years after the driveway experience, I realized how much I missed the feeling of freedom on a motorcycle. I was done with the belief that I couldn’t ride and that it was too scary.  So, I baby-stepped it.  I went with Marty to purchase my very own Piaggio motor scooter.  I rode it all over and loved it for years –  and I even have my motorcycle license to prove it.  Pushing past that particular limiting belief – even just a little bit –  is still one of the things I’m most proud of.  

I can’t wait to hear about how you’re pushing past yours.