I can’t tell you how many times in my office a parent of a teenager says something to the effect of “I’m trying not to be a helicopter parent.”  

Helicopter parenting got a bad rap somewhere in the 90s and it’s had a hard time ditching its negative reputation.  But today, I proudly stand in favor of helicopter parenting.  

Let me explain. 

First of all, I am not a hiker.  A ‘hike’ for me is a long, straight (preferably very flat) country road.  But I am very familiar with so-called ‘real’ hikes – I’ve been hoodwinked into going on a few in my lifetime.  And I’ve watched Bear Grylls on TV.

So, let’s use a hiking metaphor in my argument, shall we?

What I tell these well-meaning folks in my office is that I would LIKE them to be helicopter parents.  Helicopter parents are not on the ground with a bulldozer clearing every last obstacle out of the way so that their child’s hike is easy – that’s another parenting style we’ll discuss another day.  No! 

The beauty of helicopter parenting is that the parents are actually IN the helicopter. This arrangement gives them and their teenager at least two advantages. 

First, from the air, parents can see upcoming dangers and can give warnings to their child below.  From their walkie talkie (does anyone know what a walkie talkie is anymore?) they can say “Hey, up ahead the bridge is broken – you might need to find another route” or “It doesn’t look like there is any water for miles so you might want to prepare for that”.  In real life, parents seeing upcoming dangers and offering thoughts on possible problems can be invaluable – EVEN IF the child decides not to heed the warning. 

Second, from the ground, teenagers can feel the helicopter’s air support while still being able to have their OWN hike.  They can radio their support crew in the air and say “Hey, I can’t move this tree from the route, can you send me down a saw?” or “It looks like my food supply is running low and I could really use dad’s homemade trail mix, could you send some down?”  In real life kids need to have some autonomy. And being able to recognize and then ask for what they need, reaffirms their confidence in their ability to solve their own problems. 

They could ride the bulldozer all the way to the top and still see the view.  But the view up there is going to mean more to them when they got themselves there. 

I can’t wait to hear how you are your child’s air support.  I bet your helicopter is awesome.