Right after we got home from our honeymoon, my husband had to go out of town on business.  The first morning he was gone I texted him and said “Good morning Husband!” (probably with a heart emoji). I was so excited to FINALLY be able to say the word husband – about him!!

Imagine my laughter when he quickly replied “Who’s this?”  

“Very funny,” I said. 

His humor is one of the qualities I love best. 

He can make anyone laugh.  Including my sweet 83 year old mom, whom he adores. 

The other day we were at an event with her, 2 miles from her house. And she, who takes everyone at face value, was a little caught off guard when he told her he’d be happy to give her a ride home… he would just need some money for gas.

“We were having a perfectly normal conversation,” she laughed. “And then he asked me for money!”

I have learned that Darren’s specialty is a type of humor explained by Incongruity Theory. 

According to Marshall Brain, 

Incongruity theory suggests that humor­ arises when logic and familiarity are replaced by things that don’t normally go together. A joke becomes funny when we expect one outcome and another happens. When a joke begins, our minds and bodies are already anticipating what’s going to happen and how it’s going to end. That anticipation takes the form of logical thought intertwined with emotion and is influenced by our past experiences and our thought processes. 

When the joke goes in an unexpected direction, our thoughts and emotions suddenly have to switch gears. We now have new emotions, backing up a different line of thought. In other words, we experience two sets of incompatible thoughts and emotions simultaneously. We experience this incongruity between the different parts of the joke as humorous.”

And we laugh. 

One definition of incongruity is ‘inconsistent within itself.’  And although I can personally attest that incongruity used in humor is often pretty darn funny, I can also attest that incongruity within ourselves rarely is. 

There are so many ways we can be “inconsistent within ourselves”. We can be inconsistent in the way we talk or our tone of voice, in the way we dress, in the way we spend our time, in what we watch or read or listen to, in what we consume … and the list goes on. 

Acting out of alignment with our true selves can happen gradually, over time, as we begin to pay less and less attention to our own wants, hopes, preferences, and needs. 

The good news? Today is a great time to switch gears and start paying attention – and to get our minds and bodies back in congruence with who we really want to be. 

I can’t wait to hear how you’re building congruence with yourself. 

If you’re stuck, I’m here to help. 

Now, back to my funny husband. 

When I asked him if he would mind me using him in this post, he kindly said “Of course, babe. Thanks for asking.”  And then, as I was leaving the room, …. “Just Venmo me, Ok? That seems fair.”