Sometimes the comments on internet posts are such good practice for watching our very human behaviors.
A business leader recently invited her readers to share a little about their background and what brought them to her site.
A comment by a woman named Eleanor from Santa Fe caught my eye. She said this:
“I’m in the process of transitioning out of a full-time salaried position back to a self-employed freelance lifestyle. After a year and a half of working remotely, we were brought back to the office because the old school boss doesn’t understand how virtual collaboration works, and expects us to be constantly available for his ego-driven antics. His lack of faith/trust in remote employees has driven me even further towards it.
Since returning to the office a year ago, I’ve struggled with employers and coworkers not respecting my basic boundaries set to minimize distractions. Others have taken SERIOUS offense to my very simple requests, which, I’m sure says more about their own view of boundaries than mine.
Unfortunately, it’s become very toxic and I’m excited to leave so I can find the right environment for me.”
RIchard Joelson defines locus of control as “an individual’s belief system regarding the causes of his or her experiences and the factors to which that person attributes success or failure.
This concept is usually divided into two categories: internal and external.
If a person has an internal locus of control, that person attributes success to his or her own efforts and abilities. A person who expects to succeed will be more motivated and more likely to learn.
A person with an external locus of control, who attributes his or her success to luck or fate [or circumstance], will be less likely to make the effort needed to learn.”
I’ve been working lately with several clients who are digging deeper into their own locus of control so when I read the post above, I noticed how many times Eleanor credited someone or something else for her thoughts or feelings.
- The old-school boss doesn’t understand
- He expects us to be constantly available
- His lack of faith/trust has driven me
- Employers and coworkers not respecting my boundaries
- Others have taken offense to my requests
- It’s become very toxic
If any of us were Eleanor, and wanted to slide the pendulum back to internal locus of control, our story could have a whole different ending. That old school boss? I bet he has something to teach us and we have something to teach him. Those disrespecting coworkers? I bet there are a few things they do respect – couldn’t it be fun to find out? The toxic universe we’re living in? You guessed it. I bet we have something positive to contribute – and our contribution just might change everything.
Not that simple? Maybe. But definitely worth a try.
I can’t wait to hear about the way your internal locus of control is paying off for you.
And if you need help rewriting your story, I’m here to help!
