Exactly a year ago, I wrote about a childhood game of hide and seek – and about a belief I wanted to let go of: “I can’t change.”

To make it tangible (and a little silly), I gave myself a goal:
Learn to like seafood.

More specifically: become the kind of person who doesn’t automatically say “no thank you” when shrimp shows up on a skewer. The kind of person who scans a fancy restaurant menu and thinks, Hmm… maybe the halibut!

I gave myself a year. I was going to try all the things.
And I did.

I tried grilled fish, pan-seared fish, fancy fish, even a tiny bit of raw fish. I dipped it, squeezed lemon on it, gave it the benefit of the doubt. I took polite bites of other people’s orders. I gave shrimp, particularly, many chances to convince me.

And the truth is…
I still don’t like seafood.

It’s fine. But I don’t crave it. I don’t order it. And I’ve made peace with the fact that I still scan right past it on every menu.

What I learned from my experiment wasn’t that I can’t change. I still think I could if I really wanted to. 

It’s that I didn’t want to change this – not really.
Not more than I wanted to order the thing (Chicken Parm! Carbonara! Filet mignon!) I already know I’d enjoy.

And honestly, that’s been its own kind of lesson.

Because when we tell people that we’re trying to change something – even something small – it creates a little stage we’re standing on. It adds some pressure. It builds a quiet (or not so quiet) expectation that we’ll have a good story later.

But what if the story is just this?

I was curious.
I tried.
It didn’t take.
And now I know something about myself that I didn’t know before.

There’s a difference between being interested in something and being committed to it. I’ve talked about that in this space before. And this year taught me that there’s also a difference between making a quiet shift… and making a whole personality pivot.

Not every curiosity needs to become a transformation project.
Some things can stay neutral.
Some things we try don’t change us – they just clarify something.
And that’s useful too. 

So if you’ve got something you once declared – out loud or just in your head – and it didn’t unfold the way you thought it might…

Let’s not call it failure.

Let’s call it information.

I can’t wait to hear about what it’s helped you see. And if you need any assistance, I’m here for you. 

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