I was working with a client this week who tends to be hard on herself. She has a habit of minimizing the good she does and accentuating the bad. In ‘psychology talk’ we call that “discounting the positive.” It can look like “Well yes, I did well on that paper, but I just got lucky” or “Yes, he said he loves hanging out with me, but he’s just being kind. I’m sure he doesn’t really mean it.” Or, in my client’s case, “Yes, I got the job I wanted, but anyone could have done what I’ve done with it.”
The problem with this type of minimizing is that it discounts any evidence against our negative view of ourselves or our situation.
To combat this type of thinking, I suggested she imagine a really, really, really long set of stairs with periodic landings every several feet. The kind of stairs you see in the movies leading to some huge pyramid or waterfall.
When we’re climbing such stairs, most of us have a tendency to get to those landings and just tiredly look up at how far we have to go! SO MANY STAIRS!!
What I offer to her, and to you, is this: When you get to those landings in your own personal staircase, rather than just pushing forward while looking ahead, be sure to take a minute to pause on the landing and look back to appreciate how far you’ve come. Give yourself credit for what you ARE doing.
You ARE more on the ball than you think.
You ARE more ahead of things than you can see.
You HAVE DONE more good than you realize.
THERE IS ENOUGH….
- Enough time for you to develop and evolve
- Enough sleep and exercise and nutrition and sunshine to go around
- Enough clients or customers or sales no one else has found yet
- Enough ideas you can contribute to the world
- Enough resources to help you become your best you
- Enough things to practice and learn and hone
- Enough patience to find with yourself and with others
- Enough money in the world for you to have what you want
- Enough love for yourself and your family and your friends and your community
There is ENOUGH. Period.
Tonight is as good a night as any to pause on that staircase. I can’t wait to hear about how far you’ve come!
