I grew up in a split home. No, not that kind of split.

Let me explain.

There’s a college rivalry in our state that dates back – depending on who you ask – at least to 1922, maybe earlier. We’re talking over A HUNDRED YEARS. It’s the face-off between the University of Utah and Brigham Young University.

This rivalry, known locally as “the Holy War,” is long, storied, and FULL of drama. And this weekend, actually just as this blog post drops, that Holy War will be playing out on the field once again.  For all the world (or at least the watchers of ESPN) to see.

BYU and Utah will BOTH be in their home colors, blue and red, respectively, with neither team wearing their ‘away’ jerseys. In 2011, they started modeling this “home colors” look after another iconic rivalry between UCLA and USC. And when they step onto that field, there’s a unique feeling in the air – a palpable energy charged by generations of fans and players, parents and kids, coaches and alumni, all with deep roots and (a-hem) strong feelings about which team deserves to win.

And it’s not just the fans – the players are feeling it too. Ferris Jabr explains, “Even before a game begins, an athlete’s body changes: heart rate increases, hormones surge and beads of sweat dapple the skin. Competition is such a visceral experience that the mere anticipation of a challenge excites our instincts to fight. These biological responses are even more pronounced when people face an opponent they have come to know and despise … – a RIVAL.” 

In fact, a study out of Northumbria University found that athletes’ testosterone levels are much higher when they’re preparing to face a rival versus a regular opponent. It’s like the body knows rivalry instinctively and responds appropriately.

So, how did this rivalry affect me? My dad went to BYU and held season football tickets with his brother, tickets that have been in the family for as long as I can remember. But here’s where the split comes in: My dad also worked for the University of Utah for many, many years and ended his career as a Vice President there. His loyalty? Definitely divided. When they weren’t playing each other, he genuinely wanted both schools to do well. When they were? Well, he played his cards close to his chest. For an outsider, it probably appeared that he was a true Utah Man, but at home, we guessed he had a soft spot for his alma mater, and that he was probably, in his heart, rising and shouting for those Cougars of BYU.

What’s fascinating about rivalries like these, though, isn’t just that they’re intense; it’s the closeness, the familiarity, that makes them unique. Jabr puts it perfectly: “Rivalry differs from other kinds of competition in its intimacy. It offers contenders a psychological prize people cannot win in other contexts: the chance to beat someone obnoxiously familiar.” In a rivalry, we’re not just competing against anyone – we’re up against someone we know well enough to get under our skin. It’s personal, it’s layered, and it’s why a rivalry like BYU vs. Utah is more than a game. It’s history, it’s connection, and, yes, it’s that thrill of wanting to beat the one you ‘hate’ best.

My dad died 5 years ago on this very day, and I know for sure he’ll be watching tonight (from the chair behind his desk in heaven) caught between his blue and red loyalties. Because what he loved about a rivalry like this one is the spark that comes from playing a game where the stakes feel so much higher.  

Simon Sinek, in his book The Infinite Game, discusses the concept of a “Worthy Rival,” and emphasizes how such relationships can inspire personal growth and improvement. He states, “Traditional competition forces us to take on an attitude of winning. A worthy rival inspires us to take an attitude of improvement.” 

Rivalries make us sharper, more focused, and sometimes more willing to go the extra mile just to bring our best. So maybe we can look for a little of that “rivalry effect” in our own lives – not in competing to beat someone else, but in challenging ourselves to bring our best where it matters most. Whether it’s a goal we’re after, a habit we’re building or breaking, or a project we’re just determined to finish, a touch of that rivalry spirit can keep us striving. Because sometimes, it’s in aiming for the win that we end up surprising ourselves with just how much we’re capable of. 

I can’t wait to hear about how you’re leveraging that rivalry effect in your own life. And if you’re ready to take something on, I’m here. I’d love to be on the sideline, every step of the way.

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