Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day was written by Judith Viorst and published in 1972. It is named after her own third son, Alexander, who really did have brothers named Anthony and Nick. And it quickly stood out because it did something unusual for children’s literature at the time: it let a kid have a truly awful day without fixing it.
Alexander’s day just stays bad.
There is no lesson wrapped in a bow at the end.
It’s just a kid naming the pile-up of small disappointments and surviving it.
The honesty of that is probably a big part of why it’s lasted for 50 years and sold millions of copies.
Peter C. Baker, writing about the book in The New Yorker in 2022, 50 years after its publication, said this: Throughout [the book], [Alexander] takes everything that happens to him as evidence of how bad his day is. His brothers Anthony and Nick find prizes in their cereal boxes; he finds nothing but cereal. While carpooling to school, he gets stuck in the middle seat and feels carsick. At school, his teacher repeatedly singles out the poor quality of his participation in class, his best friend demotes him to third-best, and everyone’s mom but his seems to have packed a nice dessert with their lunch. Anthony makes him fall in the mud; Nick calls him a crybaby. The sneaker store doesn’t have the sneakers he wants. At dinner, he’s forced to eat lima beans. In the bath, he loses a marble down the drain.
Everything’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad.”
All day.
Something that has come up repeatedly in conversations I’ve been a part of lately is the idea that we don’t have to let a bad moment become a bad day. We don’t have to let a sad or annoying moment become a sad or annoying day.
And then yesterday, going through some old newsletters, I found this from James Clear:
“Earlier this week I read a line that stood out to me, ‘Your goal in life should be to reduce the amount of time it takes you to get out of a bad state.’
The ability to bounce back quickly is a key skill in life.
My wife once told me, ‘When you’re five, you can be mad for a day. When you’re ten, you can be mad for an hour. By the time you’re thirty, you get ten minutes—and then you have to move on.’
Life is full of moments of frustration and disappointment. Growth and maturity is learning to pull yourself out of a bad state faster.”
Growth and maturity is learning to pull yourself out of a bad state faster.
Yes! That’s what I’ve been talking about.
But how do we do that, especially if we’re having a day like Alexander’s?
Here are two simple ways:
1. Put a period on the moment.
When something goes sideways, try mentally ending the sentence right there. That was a bad (or sad or annoying, etc.) moment. Full stop. You don’t need to decide what it means about the rest of the day. This helps keep one frustration or sadness from recruiting everything that comes after it.
2. Change the channel on purpose.
After a bad (or sad or annoying, etc.) moment, do something that clearly marks a shift: stand up, step outside, wash your hands, move to a different room. Physical transitions help your brain register that you’re in a new chapter of the day, even if your mood hasn’t caught up yet.
Alexander’s day is familiar for a reason. Most of us have had days where small things start quietly stacking like that.
Paying attention a little earlier can shape how the rest of our day unfolds.
“It’s a bad moment. Not a bad day.”
I can’t wait to hear about how you’re keeping your bad moments from running away with the whole day. And if you’d like help with that, I’d love to assist.
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