When I was a junior in high school, I had a job as an afterschool ‘nanny’ for a well-to-do family across town with 3 children – ages 11, 9, and 6. My job entailed running family errands, getting the kids from school, helping them finish their homework, doing some light housework, and starting dinner.
At the time, I was glad to have a job that didn’t entail weekends, gave me some extra money, and was very much in my comfort zone.
Looking back, I can see how my tasks set those parents up for a much better evening. They would come home from work and their errands would be run, the kids’ homework would be completed, the house would be picked up, and dinner would be ready!
I know now what I was actually hired for: some borrowed capacity.
What the heck is Borrowed Capacity?
One dictionary definition of borrow is to appropriate for one’s own use.
And one definition of capacity is the mental or physical power to do something, not just what one currently can do, but also what one is able to develop or experience.
Put together, borrowed capacity is receiving someone else’s ability, energy, or presence in a way that gives us margin we wouldn’t have on our own.
Borrowed capacity can look like a lot of different things.
- Sometimes it’s practical help — someone running to the store so you don’t have to, dinner being delivered so you don’t have to cook, a ride that gets the kids where they need to be.
- Sometimes it’s encouragement or perspective that steadies us when our thoughts are spinning.
- Sometimes it’s prayer or the reminder that something bigger than us is holding what we can’t.
- And sometimes it’s humor — the kind that lifts the weight for a little while and lets us breathe easier.
Unless you have been living under a rock (like I was, apparently!) you probably have heard the name Leanne Morgan. But in case you haven’t, she’s a comedian from Tennessee who is about my age. One of my sisters introduced me to her work a few weeks ago, and I quickly realized how much I needed her humor.
Her stories are clean, funny, and completely relatable. She talks about marriage, the 80s, her ‘stomuck’ and everyday life in a way that makes you laugh and nod your head at the same time.
She’s been working at her craft for years and years and years, but only more recently has her name started showing up in bigger and more well known places — Instagram, Netflix, Amazon Prime! I’ve loved that part of learning about her, too — she has stayed so steady in her work over decades and now finally it’s paying off!
A couple weeks ago, I was poking around on her website and noticed she was performing in the same city where I was going to be on vacation — and in the hotel next to mine for less than a hundred dollars! I bought myself a ticket and went. Sitting in that audience and laughing until my cheeks hurt was exactly what I didn’t know I needed. It gave me a lighter heart in the middle of a really busy season.
How can we all more easily access some Borrowed Capacity? I have 5 ideas.
- Accept help when it’s offered — don’t brush it off. Receiving it with gratitude lightens the load for both us and the one who wanted to give.
- Offer our capacity in ordinary ways — errands, cookies, a listening ear. What feels simple to us may feel like real relief to someone else.
- Borrow joy or perspective through art, humor, or community. Sometimes a laugh, a story, or even a song is enough to give us some new footing.
- Lean on God’s or the Universe’s capacity when ours runs out (or, ideally, before it runs out!) Prayer, grace, and faith can steady what feels impossible and remind us we aren’t carrying things alone.
- Notice and thank the sources of capacity we’ve borrowed. Send the text, mail the note, acknowledge the gesture. Paying attention to the gift of capacity builds both awareness and connection.
I can still picture sixteen-year-old me standing at the stove, stirring a pot of (bottled) spaghetti sauce so the family I worked for could come home to a night with a little more space. What smart parents for accessing some extra capacity.
I can’t wait to hear about how you’ve borrowed capacity lately — or how you’ve shared some of yours. And if you need help with it, I’m your gal!
Maybe I could save you a seat at a Leanne Morgan show?
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PS If you liked this post – or any others, I’d love you to pass me and my work on to a friend. They can find out much more about me here if they’re interested!
