Peter Wohlleben, in The Hidden Life of Trees, tells us that “When there is a drought, trees pause their growth. They reduce water consumption and halt photosynthesis, but they don’t give up. Instead, they wait, conserving their energy until conditions improve. During these waiting periods, they still function and endure, even though growth may not be visible on the outside.”

In nature, trees don’t always grow in a straight line. Sometimes, during a drought, they even stop growing altogether. They just stand there, waiting for the right conditions to return. When the rain comes back, they start growing again – stretching their roots, reaching their branches higher. But even during the waiting, the tree is still alive, still doing what it needs to survive. 

Every one of us has waiting periods. Times when we feel like we’re not moving forward because we’re waiting for someone or something else to make a decision. 

But just like the tree, we’re still standing, still doing the work to stay grounded.

How do we cope during those times when it feels like everything is on pause, waiting for someone or something else to figure things out?

Great question.

I’ve compiled a list for us of what some of my favorite and really smart professionals have to say about it:

1. Focus on What You Can Control: Martin Seligman tells us that we can’t control someone else’s decisions or actions. What we can control is how we respond and take care of our emotional needs in the meantime.
2. Set Personal Boundaries: Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend explain that setting personal boundaries is about protecting your emotional well-being, not about closing off or shutting others out.
3. Create Meaning for Yourself: Viktor Frankl encourages us to find personal meaning in every experience, even challenging or unresolved situations. Instead of waiting for external closure, look for what the experience is teaching you about yourself.
4. Stay Open to Multiple Outcomes: Jon Kabat-Zinn emphasizes the importance of staying present and open to different futures. This mindset can help reduce anxiety by not clinging to just one possible outcome.
5. Lean on a Support System: Research published in The Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology highlights that surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends, coaches, or therapists can provide clarity and emotional strength while waiting for resolution.
6. Practice Self-Compassion: Kristin Neff reminds us to practice kindness toward ourselves. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or confused while in emotional limbo – self-compassion helps ease that burden.
7. Engage in Activities that Ground You: Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that hobbies, time in nature, or any grounding activity can bring you joy and help distract from uncertainty, keeping you connected to yourself.

Focus on what you can control.

Set personal boundaries.

Create meaning for yourself.

Stay open to multiple outcomes.

Lean on a support system.

Practice self-compassion.

Engage in activities that ground you. 

Yes, we sometimes find ourselves in life’s ‘waiting seasons,’ when growth feels halted because we’re waiting for someone else to make a decision or change their course. The challenge is figuring out how to keep standing tall, even when progress feels slow.

I can’t wait to hear about how you’re handling life’s waiting seasons.  And if you need help with it, I’m your gal. 

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