Those of you who know me personally know that I love hot chocolate.  Love it.  Doesn’t matter the time of day or the time of year.  I have a ritual of often bringing a cup of cocoa with marshmallows downstairs to my office later at night when I settle in to work.  It is warm and comforting and feels like home.

I use my mom’s recipe from the 70s – a homemade powdered mix that sits in a pretty jar on my counter that I continually re-make and re-mix and re-fill. 

The day after Thanksgiving, I was carefully walking down the stairs to my office to study and work and learn.  (Do you know where this is going?)   Instead of my usual slippers, I had on big, fluffy socks (don’t ask) and lost my footing on about the 3rd step. I tumbled all the way down.  Cocoa, marshmallows, bruises and tears all ended up with me at the bottom of the stairs.   

I tried to clean up what I could before going into the bedroom to weepily confess to my kind and now concerned husband that I had just spilled hot chocolate all the way down our newly carpeted steps.  

I’m now a week out from that experience.  The soreness in my body and bones has started to recede and the nice, friendly carpet cleaner, named Matthew, is scrubbing the stairs as I’m typing this. 

There are 4 Ps I can find in trying to gain perspective on a situation – whether it’s a conflict with a co-worker, a worry over a child, a question that needs an answer, or a fall down the stairs.  

The first and most useful thing to do is to PAUSE.  Just slow it down.  When my cute husband held me after the fall that night, he said “Hey, who cares about the stairs.  Are YOU ok?”  It let me slow my heart and head down enough to look at the situation for what it was.  Sometimes the conflict, the worry, the question you’re going through needs a little breathing room in order for you to take a better look.  

The second P in gaining perspective is to PAY REAL ATTENTION.  This involves the hard work of figuring out our role in the situation.  In my case, my role was me thinking it was a good idea to continually carry hot cocoa down 14 steps at night.  When I took the chance to pay real attention to it, I decided that my hot chocolate ritual created a problem.  If you take a closer look at your role in the worry, the question, or the conflict, you can sometimes see how you can also  contribute to a new solution. 

Which leads us to the 3rd P – POSSIBILITIES.  When I slowed it down and saw my role, I also realized I had a lot of possible solutions.  I could get an electric kettle for my office.  I could bring the hot water down separately.  I could, as my step-son sarcastically suggested, get a non-spill sippy cup.  You get the idea.  What are the possibilities in your question, conflict, or concern?  What could you do differently or what outcome have you maybe not even thought of? I promise you that the possibilities are there if you look for them. 

And the last P?  PRACTICE.  If we really want to gain some leverage over something in which we desperately need a new perspective, we’re going to have to practice pausing, paying attention, and looking for possibilities.  The results will be better than you imagine them to be now, or, at the very least, in my case, you’ll end up with really clean stairs. 

I can’t wait to hear what you’re gaining perspective about.  I suggest you ponder it over a cup of cocoa.  Let me know if you want mom’s recipe!