My dad had some strong OCD tendencies and was an expert sort-er.
He sorted socks by color, pens by color, m&m’s by color. He sorted containers by size, flower pots by size, and chocolates by size.
The trouble was, once he started sorting, things got complicated.
If he found a container he liked, he needed to have many of them and then needed to have things to fill them. If he started arranging flower pots on a potting table, he had to find the right sizes and colors to make the table full. And when he found out that m&m’s would make custom colors especially for him? Well, all bets were off.
Probably because of my sweet dad, I have a brain that categorizes things very easily. I find myself thinking in categories All. The. Time. And, as you can imagine, it’s a blessing and a curse.
The curse part, for me, is this: The Excess. Once I have one of a thing, I usually want all of the thing.
Not in an all-or-nothing “I want to eat the whole bag of chips” way. No.
My excess comes in the categories.
Sweet little story books for the grandkids become ALL the sweet little story books in the whole series.
Super fun markers for my coloring hobby become ALL the markers of that brand.
One flavor of my new favorite protein bars becomes ALL the flavors.
And on and on and on. My brain thinks I need access to them all.
According to Dr. Anne Marie Helmenstine, The excess reactant [in chemistry] is the reactant in a chemical reaction with a greater amount than necessary to react completely ….. It is the reactant(s) that remain after a chemical reaction has reached equilibrium.
In my case, equilibrium is defined as a state of intellectual or emotional balance.
For me, stopping short of excess allows me to think I am keeping the OCD tendencies at bay. But going past equilibrium and into excess is a pretty slippery slope.
Lately, when I notice it, I encourage myself to put on the brakes. I ask myself, “Do I really need to procure more of this thing? What would happen if I didn’t have the whole set?”
If the worst that would happen is discomfort, I practice living with the discomfort. Because, in my heart, I desire to live in equilibrium.
James Clear, in his newsletter this week, said this, “Nearly everything in life has a useful zone, a desired dose. Ten minutes in the sun can energize you. Ten hours in the sun can burn you. This concept applies to many things: work, relationships, hobbies, exercise, food. (And in my case, books, markers, and protein bars!)
What is your desired dose? What do you need right now? A little bit more or a little bit less?”
I can’t wait to hear about it.
