I distinctly remember a day many years ago when, as I was turning my car into the parking lot of my apartment complex, I was hit by a16-year-old driver who was coming home from getting her driver’s license. My car was drivable but now in need of repair. The girl was visibly upset and ticketed – and I held it together until I got upstairs and called my mom. When she picked up the phone I immediately started crying.
She waited for me to pull it together and tell her the story. “Sally, I’m so sorry that happened. That is so frustrating.” Then she said one of those mom things that I have never forgotten. “Let me ask you something. Is this a tragedy or an inconvenience?”
I took a deep breath.
“It’s an inconvenience.”
She is always good at putting things in perspective. It’s a gift of hers.
I have since associated that question of my mom’s with seeing things on a micro or macro level. Sampson Quain says, “Understanding how these perspectives yield different results can help you make a more informed decision about which path to use to improve your …activities.”
What does that mean?
Simply put, during tragic or intense or critical periods of your life, you might want to adopt a micro perspective. One minute, one hour, one day at a time. Next step and then the next.
And during inconvenient or annoying or frustrating periods of your life, you might want to do the opposite. Choose a macro perspective and zoom out much, much further. Ask yourself, “Will this inconvenience or frustration be important in a week or a year or a decade?” Probably not.
Quain goes on to say, “The main difference between a macro perspective and a micro perspective is that in a macro view you are always stepping back for a big-picture view. You’re not concerned with the details of … things… but instead, you’re trying to figure out how you [are] working in major areas that determine success or failure. In contrast, a micro view is always going to be focused on the small details that can give you answers about the big picture. In a micro perspective, details are essential.”
Tragedy or crisis? Micro perspective. NOT the time to zoom out. Too many unknowns. Focus on one small detail or small undertaking at a time, make one small step. Zoom in to the very next moment, the very next task.
Inconvenience or annoyance? Macro perspective. Look at the big picture, take the long view. Zoom out to the 20,000 foot view of the situation. How can you contribute to the success or overcome the failure – for you, the goal, the relationship, or for someone else?
I let myself cry for a minute with my mom, and then I took her counsel and looked at the big picture. No one was hurt, we both had insurance, and that girl now had a really good story to tell her friends about the day she got her license. I took my car to the shop, I used the rental car my insurance gratefully covered, and went about my life. A zoomed out, macro view on the situation was just what I needed.
I can’t wait to hear about how you’re using my mom’s question to assess your own situation. And if you need some help, I’m here!
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