A tribe is defined by Webster as “a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect.” And Guy Winch, Ph. D., says there are several reasons why tribal belonging is important for every one of us. Among those he mentions are:

1. Identity. “Belonging to a group and feeling identified with those in that group is an important aspect of our identity and sense of self.” 

2. Purpose. “Our group identity often gives us a sense of common purpose around the pursuit of common goals.”

3. Support. “We are more likely to get support from people within our ‘tribe,’ and are likely to experience their support as more valuable and more meaningful.”

There is more and more data that shows that being a part of a tribe has, in Dr. Winch’s words, “real and significant implications” for our emotional health.  

I have a tribe of Ten siblings (+ me) in my family of origin – seven sisters and three brothers that helped shape my identity and cement my sense of self.  We talk and text, tease and torment, disagree and sometimes disappoint.  We are each other’s common denominators and share a past. They are some of the very best people I know. 

I have a tribe of Ten women (+ me) in my group of high school girlfriends.  Women I have known and loved now for almost 40 years.  I spent time with them just today. They are strong and stalwart, resourceful and well-read, generous and genius.  We support each other in good times and “oh, it’s not so bad” haircuts and we hold each other’s secrets. 

I have a tribe of Ten Kelsos (+ me) in the family my husband and I now call ours (and last week it grew to Eleven with our new baby grandson, Finn!).  This family is funny and clever, determined and daring, multi-faceted and multi-talented.  We share a future and a future generation – oh, and a netflix password.  I adore every one of them. 

I have other tribes, as well.  Tribes, that, like the three above, I would not want to do without. People who lived near me in the neighborhood where I first owned a house, people who love Taylor Swift (there, I said it.), people who roomed with me in my first dorm, people who drink hot cocoa in the summer, people who are actually READING this blog!, etc. etc. etc.  People who have risen up to give me a piece of my identity, a gift of shared purpose, a portion of their support.  I bet you do, too. I can’t wait to hear about them.