Some of my earliest memories involve my Uncle Jeff.
Uncle Jeff was my dad’s cooler and less risk-averse younger brother. He was a Marine and an attorney and wore stylish clothes and big sunglasses with his big dark hair. And when he and his family came to visit us from California, or met us on a trip somewhere, there were always hijinx that ensued.
We played ‘Marines’ on camping trips and trampled through the forest with Uncle Jeff yelling commands at us like a drill sergeant – “Duck!” “Cover!” “Get down, Soldier!” – while we giggled and screamed. We went on amusement park rides where he would gauge our bravery based on how dizzy we would allow ourselves to get – and reward our determination with determining to win us a huge stuffed animal at the carnival games. And we went swimming in the Great Salt Lake – yes, it was the 70s and yes, it was a ‘thing’ back then, but really, who thought that was a good idea?? – where he would see how long we could float before the salt inevitably got the best of us – and our eyes.
He was broad and silly and gruff and he adored us. And his kids. And we adored them, too.
On one “Uncle Jeff” trip to Lake Tahoe, he convinced little 8-year-old me to go with him and a few of my siblings and cousins on a speedboat he had rented – “Come on, Sal! It will be fun,” he said. Since I am nowhere near a fan of the water and not any more enthused about boats, I’m not sure how he did this. But, as I mentioned, I adored him.
A good while into the outing and halfway out in that HUGE and DEEP lake, our boat just stopped working.
For those of you who don’t know, Lake Tahoe is 12 miles wide and 22 miles long. If you’re doing your math (which I am!) that is an area of 264 square MILES of water – and that’s just on the surface. According to some, it is the deepest lake in North America – over 1600 feet deep to be exact. 39 trillion gallons of water. Someone on the internet says that’s enough water to cover the STATE OF CALIFORNIA in over a foot of liquid.
We had no way of contacting anyone and had to wait another good while until a good Samaritan with a bigger boat saw my Uncle Jeff waving a shirt (or a towel?) and came to our rescue.
They tied us up and started the tow – and then … just when I daring to feel a little more safe, that bigger boat also just stopped working.
Things were definitely not going as planned. Twice.
Several people I’m close to have situations in their lives right now that are definitely not going as planned. Their theoretical ‘boat’ has stopped working. Sometimes twice. They are stranded in deep, deep water and the safety of the shore is barely in sight.
Susanna Newsonen gives us some great advice for times when the plan that was going so well has disappeared into thin air.
- Take deep breaths. (Really. Deep. Breaths.)
- Do all within your control – and then remind yourself you’ve done all you can.
- Practice acceptance of the current reality.
- Put your creativity hat on.
- Trust that there is a way for things to be resolved.
- Brainstorm how to deal with something like this in the future.
In my little girl eyes, Uncle Jeff was a pro at pivoting when his vision for our original boating excursion did not work out. (Did I mention he was a Marine?) He told stories and played games. He (almost) convinced us we were on an adventure on the High Seas! He assured us that all would be well.
He was big and strong and no matter how scared I felt, I knew he’d figure out a solution.
Because the good Samaritan folks had a bigger boat, they had a better radio. They got in touch with some sort of patrol and somehow after ANOTHER good while – the details are foggy – we were finally, FINALLY, towed back to shore – before the sun went down. Sunburned and tired, and, in my case, queasy and worried – but oh, so relieved.
And when Uncle Jeff took the boat out the next day, you better believe he was more prepared. (I for sure wasn’t on it – but you get my point!)
I can’t wait to hear about how you’re pivoting when things don’t go as planned. And if you need help with any of Susanna’s 6 steps, I’d love to help. Far away from the water.
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