On one of our recent trips, my husband and I were about to get on a hotel escalator to head down to a restaurant in the lobby.  Except we couldn’t.  There was a traffic jam of sorts in front of us.  He went ahead to see what was going on – of course he did.

At the top of the escalator stood a woman with big hair and big nails and big luggage, talking loudly to herself, terrified to get on and go down.  She was surrounded by several impatient people.  

So, my husband, the problem solver that he is, gently said to her “Here, let me help you.”  He took her luggage in one hand and her arm in the other, looked back at me with a shrug, and got her to the bottom of the moving stairs, where the rest of her grateful party awaited her.  I’m almost sure she threw “covid caution” to the wind and hugged him. 

I imagine later that night, the woman thought to herself, ‘Why didn’t I just take the elevator?’ or ‘Why didn’t I ask one of my friends to help me?’ or ‘Why didn’t I just back away from the escalator entrance and let people go ahead of me?’ or a million other questions. 

I am very familiar with fear – so, afterwards, while Darren was questioning why no one else standing there stepped in to help, I was asking myself why fear sometimes freezes the rational part of our brain.

Gary Westfal says that part of our brains are designed that way – to ‘help’ us avoid danger. “This brain structure is centrally linked to the emotional responses of both fear and pain.  The brain is so fast at processing a reaction to fearful input that we have been known to experience a fearful reaction before we are consciously aware of the stimulus.”  Hence, woman meets escalator.  

“The only way,” he goes on to say, “that we reprogram the brain is to expose ourselves to the truth or reality of the event, convince our brain that our fears are unfounded, that nothing bad will happen, and the fear will be replaced by a new truth.”

I think I know something of what the woman felt when Darren came to her rescue – because I know what it feels like when he comes to mine.

And I would love to be able to tell her the truth, in Mr. Westfal’s words: “You don’t actually have to conquer your fear to replace it!  You just have to resist its rather convincing ruse of power and begin to operate on the premise that YOU are in charge!”  

That is such good news!  For her, for me.  For you. 

I can’t wait to hear about how you’re taking charge of your brain.

Thank you so much for reading!