Efficacy and “Question Coleen.”
Recently I had a client tell me that she thought she’d done a disservice to her teenager. “She’s so used to me fixing everything for her that now she can’t figure out how to do it on her own. I can see so clearly that it’s my fault,” she told me. I decided to tell […]
Fortune Cookies and Optimistic Action.
Please pick a number between 1 and 10. Really. Pick it. Got it?? Ok, now kindly hold on to it for a moment. When I retired from education about a year and a half ago, my tribe of girlfriends threw me a brunch. It was so kind of them. I decided I wanted to […]
Tragedy or Inconvenience? Your answer matters.
I distinctly remember a day many years ago when, as I was turning my car into the parking lot of my apartment complex, I was hit by a16-year-old driver who was coming home from getting her driver’s license. My car was drivable but now in need of repair. The girl was visibly upset and ticketed […]
Josh, the Jazz, and some Collective Group Effort
I want you to picture the person in your life who is the most die-hard of die-hard sports fans. My brain immediately goes to my Dad’s brother, Jeff. Do you have yours? Ok. Now ten times that level of fandom. Seriously. That’s my friend, Josh. And he just got some news that I am […]
7 Things You Can Do To Live An Amazing Life (Sally’s Version).
A few of you may have heard the story of Daniel Seddiqui, the USC graduate in Economics who – after having 40 job applications rejected – took a novel approach to doing something about it. He decided to load up his jeep and try 50 different jobs in 50 different states – a week each. […]
Fake Guilt and Misplaced Action.
Lately I’ve been paying attention to how many times clients say something about feeling guilty. “I feel guilty that I’m not doing more with my time….” “She makes me feel guilty when I don’t visit her…..” “I shouldn’t have to feel guilty when I go to the gym….” You get the idea. But is guilt […]
Protective Factors Checklist.
In counseling vernacular, there is a term thrown around that I have had on my mind a lot lately: Protective Factors. Protective Factors are probably exactly what you’re imagining – factors that protect people in times of challenge and increase their resiliency. The more protective factors one has, the greater the likelihood that they […]
15 fights … and fogging.
In my “I’m-getting-kinda-old” lifetime of study, experience, and very (un)scientific research, I’ve found 15 things that can be stumbling blocks in marriage/dating/partner relationships. In no particular order, they are: These unsurprisingly common issues also produce unsurprisingly common arguments, discussions, and fights. And someone in these unsurprisingly common arguments, discussions, or fights often resorts to the […]
Satisficers and my friend, Mary.
Seven years into my career at that middle school I’ve told you about, I decided to apply to work in a district closer to my (newly purchased) condo. As an educator in my state back then, you typically had a small window of time to switch districts in order to still be able to take […]
Credibility counts.
I grew up with a Dad who placed a high value on his credibility. He was a renowned physician, researcher, speaker, and administrator – and a son, brother, husband, dad, uncle, grandpa, friend, and disciple of Jesus. Was he able to be all of those things because other people – and God – trusted […]
