Efficacy and “Question Coleen.”
Recently I had a client tell me that she thought she’d done a disservice to her teenager. “She’s so used to me fixing everything for her that now she can’t figure out how to do it on her own. I can see so clearly that it’s my fault,” she told me. I decided to tell […]
My Thank YOU List.
One of the things I love so much about my years-long study of personalities is that it keeps me on the lookout for people’s gifts. I’ve been thinking a lot about those gifts lately – tis the season, I guess. So, as this year is ending, I wanted to say thank you to some of […]
Taylor and Travis – and widening your emotions.
In case you haven’t been paying attention, I love Taylor Swift. Do I agree with absolutely everything she says and does? Probably not. But I love her. I love her music, her lyrics, her capacity for change, her loyalty to her friends and her collaborators and to causes she believes in, her business savvy, her […]
Fake Guilt and Misplaced Action.
Lately I’ve been paying attention to how many times clients say something about feeling guilty. “I feel guilty that I’m not doing more with my time….” “She makes me feel guilty when I don’t visit her…..” “I shouldn’t have to feel guilty when I go to the gym….” You get the idea. But is guilt […]
Project 8/40 and 5 emails that might change you.
Several years ago I read an article by Michael Thompson about 4 types of emails to send every week. The idea stuck with me – so much so that I adapted it into a personal project. During my last one hundred days of working for my school district I decided to send 100 notes, texts […]
15 fights … and fogging.
In my “I’m-getting-kinda-old” lifetime of study, experience, and very (un)scientific research, I’ve found 15 things that can be stumbling blocks in marriage/dating/partner relationships. In no particular order, they are: These unsurprisingly common issues also produce unsurprisingly common arguments, discussions, and fights. And someone in these unsurprisingly common arguments, discussions, or fights often resorts to the […]
Validating our emotions – and turbulence.
I may have mentioned a few times on this blog that I am what my parents used to term a ‘worry wart’. Blame it on my Enneagram 6 personality or the fact that I was sandwiched between two risk-taking siblings or blame it on my worrier Grandma, Bessie, but …… I worry. (“Hello, my name […]
The Outsiders and Where You Belong.
(photo cred: @davidburnettfoto) When I was 16 years old, and finally able to drive myself, I discovered two of my to-this-day favorite things: Going to the movies, and The Outsiders. I didn’t know it then, but going to a movie – in a movie theatre – allowed my brain a distraction from the constant […]
Someone who sincerely praises.
Sometimes, when a client is so frustrated with someone in their life that they practically want to poke their own eyes out, I ask them to pause and do something that, at first, sounds really, really hard. I ask them to give that person a little sincere, authentic praise. They don’t want to. […]
Truly Loved and Fully Known.
For several years now, my sweet Mom and my sister Sharon have had the momentous task of gathering and meticulously going through all of the people and paper contained in the boxes of my Dad’s life in order for Sharon to write his biography. It is a labor of love which is p r […]
