“What’s the hold-up?”
On one of our recent trips, my husband and I were about to get on a hotel escalator to head down to a restaurant in the lobby. Except we couldn’t. There was a traffic jam of sorts in front of us. He went ahead to see what was going on – of course he did. […]
Pause on the Landing.
I was working with a client this week who tends to be hard on herself. She has a habit of minimizing the good she does and accentuating the bad. In ‘psychology talk’ we call that “discounting the positive.” It can look like “Well yes, I did well on that paper, but I just got lucky” […]
The January Letter.
Before I took a job as a high school counselor or even considered becoming a life coach, I taught 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th graders for twenty-two years. And sometime early on in my career, I started having my students write themselves letters each January. I would give them a guided worksheet with statements and […]
Offering Relief.
When I was in junior high, I had a period of several weeks where I couldn’t sleep. I could probably dive back into my journals from that time to figure out what was going on, but my now much older self doesn’t remember the details. What I do remember is that I would go find […]
Two Kinds of Askers.
“But what do I say if someone asks?” This is something I have heard many, many, many times. The person asking me wants to know what to say when someone asks them “What are you doing after high school?” or “Is it true that you broke up with him?” or “What are you going to […]
The 4 Ps of Perspective.
Those of you who know me personally know that I love hot chocolate. Love it. Doesn’t matter the time of day or the time of year. I have a ritual of often bringing a cup of cocoa with marshmallows downstairs to my office later at night when I settle in to work. It is warm […]
Just One Thing.
My very large family had a very large amount of family meetings in the years and months before my Dad’s death. At one such meeting, at least 12 of us kids and spouses and our mom were sitting around my very large kitchen table. Our eldest brother-in-law said something that I knew I would want […]
The Third Option.
The Third Option I was recently coaching a young client about her relationship. She has been dating someone for several years, waiting and waiting and waiting for him to propose. He has his reasons for putting it off. She doesn’t like the reasons. And they constantly fight about it. Every few months she gets more […]
In Favor of Helicopter Parenting
I can’t tell you how many times in my office a parent of a teenager says something to the effect of “I’m trying not to be a helicopter parent.” Helicopter parenting got a bad rap somewhere in the 90s and it’s had a hard time ditching its negative reputation. But today, I proudly stand in […]
Tribal Living.
A tribe is defined by Webster as “a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect.” And Guy Winch, Ph. D., says there are several reasons why tribal belonging is important for every one of us. Among those […]
