Fake Guilt and Misplaced Action.
Lately I’ve been paying attention to how many times clients say something about feeling guilty. “I feel guilty that I’m not doing more with my time….” “She makes me feel guilty when I don’t visit her…..” “I shouldn’t have to feel guilty when I go to the gym….” You get the idea. But is guilt […]
Project 8/40 and 5 emails that might change you.
Several years ago I read an article by Michael Thompson about 4 types of emails to send every week. The idea stuck with me – so much so that I adapted it into a personal project. During my last one hundred days of working for my school district I decided to send 100 notes, texts […]
15 fights … and fogging.
In my “I’m-getting-kinda-old” lifetime of study, experience, and very (un)scientific research, I’ve found 15 things that can be stumbling blocks in marriage/dating/partner relationships. In no particular order, they are: These unsurprisingly common issues also produce unsurprisingly common arguments, discussions, and fights. And someone in these unsurprisingly common arguments, discussions, or fights often resorts to the […]
Validating our emotions – and turbulence.
I may have mentioned a few times on this blog that I am what my parents used to term a ‘worry wart’. Blame it on my Enneagram 6 personality or the fact that I was sandwiched between two risk-taking siblings or blame it on my worrier Grandma, Bessie, but …… I worry. (“Hello, my name […]
The Outsiders and Where You Belong.
(photo cred: @davidburnettfoto) When I was 16 years old, and finally able to drive myself, I discovered two of my to-this-day favorite things: Going to the movies, and The Outsiders. I didn’t know it then, but going to a movie – in a movie theatre – allowed my brain a distraction from the constant […]
Someone who sincerely praises.
Sometimes, when a client is so frustrated with someone in their life that they practically want to poke their own eyes out, I ask them to pause and do something that, at first, sounds really, really hard. I ask them to give that person a little sincere, authentic praise. They don’t want to. […]
Truly Loved and Fully Known.
For several years now, my sweet Mom and my sister Sharon have had the momentous task of gathering and meticulously going through all of the people and paper contained in the boxes of my Dad’s life in order for Sharon to write his biography. It is a labor of love which is p r […]
Christmas in California.
I lived the first eight years of my life in a suburb of North Western Minneapolis called Golden Valley. I’m proud to tell people that Minnesota air was the first air I breathed. My dad was recruited to the University of Minnesota early in his career, and 5 of the 11 kids in my family […]
The gajillion offerings of the Enneagram.
I sometimes joke that without the Enneagram, I wouldn’t be married. But I’m only partly kidding. Darren and I had been dating again for about a year when I followed the recommendation of a podcaster I respected and bought the book “The Road Back to You.” That book started a journey and a rabbit hole […]
Mr. Nobody
In the house in which most of my siblings and I grew up, there was a long straight hall in between my parent’s room and my dad’s study. The hallway had dark brown short shag carpet, two electrical outlets, one picture of Jesus, 6 doors, and an attic access on the ceiling. Does it sound […]
